What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.
Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.
Don't do this ever, but especially not if his last girlfriend is the person you're going rock climbing with Sunday.
No matter what his answer is, it's going to make things weird.
Let's break this situation down and count all your mistakes: 1) NEVER break up with someone unless you mean it. If you thought that the "breakup" would only be temporary, then that's your biggest mistake.
4) You are angry because she "should have known" that you still had feelings for your ex, because of all your hints, despite the fact that you said you're over him.
However, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with both of them, it's crucial that you never seem even a little like you're taking sides in their breakup or casting either one as the bad guy, even months or years after the fact. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.